WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS
Kids these days fuck each other’s brains out without a second thought. You social “progressives” are doing a great job tearing down all of those ridiculous social constructs, those bastions of intolerance and the patriarchy and whatever other asinine buzzwords you want to include. I concede that I can’t think of a purely rational, irrefutable reason for my convictions about sexual morality. I can’t think of a purely rational reason that murder is bad, either, but I won’t have any problem convincing anyone but a psychopath of that fact. Society’s set of moral axioms is shrinking. People are still willing to accept that hurting others for no reason is bad, but the number who will accept that fidelity and self-control are inherently worthwhile dwindles. You know what else is shrinking? The distinction between society and a collection of horny apes, that’s what.
As a beta piece of shit, I have a prepared reaction to seeing such outrageous violations of my deepest convictions happen all around me, all the time, even by people who I hold in high regard and care for a great deal. I envision that my unshakable morals endow me with legendary might, and I vanquish the darkness which threatens to overtake me in a blaze of holy, righteous fire. I emerge from the epic battle victorious, and all is right with the world.
This process takes about a day and is usually completely internal, though it sometimes manifests itself as a surge of energy and a strong desire to visit the iron temple. It’s a great way to set PR’s, but the most important effect is that I am left too mentally exhausted to care about the atrocities that threw me into my fit in the first place. I can return my values to their proper place: a doormat to be stepped on by modern morality, a worthless, obsolete piece of trash. And I return to my proper place, laughing off the offenses and taking it all like the bitch I am.
Fortunately, the cycle of rage and resignation was confined to real life, something which I have no trouble avoiding. I never would have done anything about it if it ended there, but you faggots took it one step too far:
You fucked with my anime.
I didn’t suddenly discover the existence of ecchi or the like. As a matter of fact, for all my ravings about moral degeneracy, I enjoy a good harem anime just as much as the next bitter, lonely asshole, and my guilty pleasure is actually what led me to B Gata H Kei. I was expecting another run-of-the-mill school romance, devoid of anything deeper than that feel when no gf and chock full of fan service. What I got was far, far more sinister.
Now, there’s everything wrong with ass ‘n’ titties, but unfortunately I have a working cock and balls and only a finite amount of self-restraint. The idea is to defuse the urge to procreate in the least destructive way possible, and if that happens to be looking at panty shots of cartoon characters, so be it. Is it hypocritical? Of course, but I’m aware of that and I take the guilt as the price of my crime. Where B Gata H Kei went wrong was in trying to teach me a lesson instead of just showing me boobies.
The story centers on a sex-crazed high school girl, Yamada. She is a virgin whose greatest desire in life is to become a dirty, worthless stank-slut, and she has the looks to do it. Apparently she has a pretty nasty vag, though, and she’s worried that someone experienced in devaluing what ought to be a meaningful, sacred act having sex will laugh at and embarrass her. So, in an effort to gain some experience herself, and maybe get over her fear that her meat wallet is gross, she pursues the most average, unremarkable guy she can get her hands on. Enter Kosuda, another virgin who fits the qualifications to the letter.
For a while, the show is harmless and actually pretty funny. Yamada tsun tsun~’s Kosuda hard, creating plenty of entertaining misunderstandings and tension, and exposing her vain, self-centered, insecure personality. Not one to break away from the male stereotype, Kosuda plays an excellent dick-guided monkey, pursuing Yamada purely out of physical attraction. He seems somewhat aware of this; at one point, while the two are on a date, he wonders whether he actually likes Yamada or not. Just when I was worried that a good message would come out of this garbage, Yamada goes in for the kiss and all of Kosuda’s moral qualms evaporate in an instant.
As the show progresses, Yamada discovers—rather unwillingly—that she has developed feelings for Kosuda. I won’t call bullshit on this, because the guy actually does have admirable qualities. In typical anime fashion, he is genuinely caring and sensitive. We see multiple instances of his helping out strangers, and it seems like another big turn-on for Yamada is Kosuda’s photography. They visit a nature park together, and while she is busy worrying about her own appearance and getting laid, Kosuda manages to capture the beauty and serenity of the scene is his pictures. Later, while on a camping trip, Yamada discovers Kosuda taking pictures of the stars, which he says he was taking in order to show her. Huge panty dropper right there. Good work Kosuda, you’re not total garbage.
…kind of. Actually, Kosuda is the one I’m going to call bullshit on. For all his qualities, he has a huge flaw, one which most people would call “being male.” Kosuda is a (mostly) great guy. Yamada is a steaming pile. She certainly changes throughout the show, particularly in that she recognizes Kosuda’s worth. (We’ll come back to this in a moment.) But she grows from a huge piece of shit into a slightly less huge piece of shit. She does nothing for Kosuda but torture him mentally. Time after time, she sends him mixed signals, talks down to him, and generally acts like a grade-A bitch. From Kosuda’s perspective, there is no good reason to like her, other than her physical attractiveness. He was close to figuring that out, too, until the promise of taking that sweet ass to pound town led him astray.
If you take a narrow and superficial view of the show, it seems to be sending a positive message. Specifically, if you just consider Yamada’s side of the story and take her actions at face value, B Gata H Kei appears to be saying, in the words of a friend, that “lust and love are entangled completely.” Yamada thought that she could go around getting stuffed by anything that moved, but she wasn’t able to get anywhere close to the horizontal mambo without first having feelings for Kosuda. Similarly, Kosuda did not commit himself to trying to plow that pussy until after he confesses his “love” for Yamada.
I take a more pessimistic, but I think more realistic, view of the story. In considering Kosuda’s case, the most important thing to keep in mind is chronology. His timeline is as follows:
- Find Yamada physically attractive.
- Go on date(s) with Yamada, doubt whether he actually likes her.
- French that bitch, physical contact puts lust for Yamada into overdrive.
- Realize he “likes” Yamada. Note that the only change from 2 to 4 is that she has made it clear that she wants the dick.
- Try to put it in. New Year’s wish is likely that he can put it in.
Yamada’s timeline has a slightly better trajectory:
- Want to be a nasty slut.
- Start interacting with Kosuda solely to fuck him.
- Unable to get laid despite many brazen attempts.
- Develop feelings for Kosuda.
- Get much closer to being railed.
- New Year’s wish is likely that she’ll get railed.
Here we have two different cases, with two (seemingly) opposite moral trajectories, and yet they both point to the same thing. For Kosuda, it isn’t love which motivates his lust, but the other way around. He starts to “like” Yamada when it becomes apparently that their relationship will bring him carnal pleasure. He doesn’t learn anything meaningful about Yamada that could have made this change, precisely because there’s nothing there for him to learn. She is shallow and vain, and though she is innocent for the time being, it’s clear from the direction that their relationship is headed that that won’t last for long. The fact that Kosuda justifies his lust might point to a desire for something nobler. But whether he’s doing it consciously or not, Kosuda’s timeline shows that he’s really just making excuses for himself.
Yamada’s story gets closer to sending a positive moral message, but chokes in the very last part of the last episode. Approximately four hours after almost getting fucked, realizing that it’s wrong to rush things because it devalues the emotional component of the act, and saying that she and Kosuda should take it slow, Yamada and Kosuda meet again. I really thought that I had a shot at a good end here, but instead, B Gata H Kei gave me a sobering slap in the face. After a tense few seconds, Yamada and Kosuda both proclaim that they want to have sex. From Kosuda, this isn’t a surprise any more. All hope was lost for him after their first kiss. The bigger disappointment was that, in spite of her recognition that there is value in slowing things down, Yamada’s desire for that fat D won out in the end. She confirms this in the last scene of the show. At a local shrine—a holy place—the two place base desires above true love, both wishing that they will be able to have sex in the coming year.
A thin layer of this “faux love,” and true love taking a back seat to libido. B Gata H Kei doesn’t show an inextricable connection between love and lust. Rather, it reveals how pathetic the excuses and facades we are willing to accept have become, how far we’ve fallen.
That got way too heavy at the end. We lighthearted now.